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Excerpt-At 72, Silas Toot-Smythe of Guelph, Ontario, has achieved the impossible: 120 farts a day for 65 years straight. Now, scientists and rogue AIs are eyeing him as a renewable energy goldmine. It’s the kind of satirical news that makes you wonder if “gas prices” are really just a measure of one man’s internal pressure. https://therealfaketimes.com/2026/03/30/guelph-man-silas-toot-smythe-65-year-flatulence-streak-renewable-energy-goldmine/

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